Vignette Response

As I am revising my vignettes I am really focusing on making the reader see the scene and feel the emotions. All of my pieces focus on a different aspect of my life, things that are tiny but that I enjoy greatly. I think that people too often look over small things in life that bring happiness and I hope my writing can help change that. I want the reader to understand that even though they may not enjoy the same "little things" that I do they have their own to enjoy. To me it means seeing past bad things that may happen and remembering life has an unlimited amount of natural beauty.

Vignette Preview

There's nothing better to wake up to, at least not in my mind. The fresh smell brewing in the kitchen. I hear the snap and crackle of the machine, quiet but the sounds stands out to my ears. Some say it tastes bitter but nothing else tastes quite as good in the morning. I rise out of bed and walk to the kitchen, grabbing my own personal mug. I lift the pot and watch the black river steam and run downwards. After replacing the pot on the burner I lift the mug to my lips and take my first sip. The perfect start to another day.

I would like Press responses.

10 Minute Free Write

As I walk down the pebble path that leads through the park three blocks from my house my head turns every which way amazed by all the beauty. First I notice the smell of the trees oak, pine, maple...my senses can hardly handle all of them at once but I wouldn't dare dismiss one of them and miss out on the beauty. I hear the birds chirping and singing high up in the trees. Look up to the sky wondering if any of them are flying above me. Wondering how the world looks from up there. They must get the best view of any creature on this earth. They can see anything from any point of view. How beautiful it must be to have wings. Squirrels run around on the ground. Searching for food. Surviving in their own way. Every creature just living in exactly their own way. Little ones feed the geese in the pond, squeeling and running away but smiling at the same time. Children laugh and giggle as they fly high on the swing or race down the slide at a speed they feel invincible. The parents watching on that bench smiling and proud. Enjoying every moment. Memorizing the beauty of their little angel. Then there's the old couples out for a brisk walk. Getting exercise just like the doctor probably told them to. Walking hand in hand like they have been for many years. You can see the love radiating off of them. It makes a young teenager like me hope that someday I can get there with the one I love. Ah love, maybe the most beautiful thing of all. Seeing someone for who they really are. Into the depths of their soul. When the skeletons in your closet don't really matter anymore and ever new discovery is a surprise and another reason to love them. To let down your guards and tear down those walls. To love and to be loved. To have what those old couples do. This is why I love walking through the park. Nature's beauty. Humanity's beauty. The beauty that most people don't notice. Just because you see something every day doesn't mean it isn't beautiful. If you see a baby smile a hundred times it doesn't make it any less. If you see someone you love a million times it doesn't mean you should pass up one opportunity. Because I can guarantee that once you never see that something or someone again, you'd be praying to see their beauty and do anything for one last glance.

Anything Creative Assignment

A Comfortable Silence

The breeze is soft,
It's hardly even there,
It's almost as soft,
As his hand brushing my hair.
The porch is peaceful,
As the dogs run round in the yard,
I move a little closer,
And fit perfectly in his arms.
The swing goes back and forth,
As I sip my ice tea,
I can't help but admire,
The man sitting next to me.
When silence can be comfortable,
It's quite a beautiful thing,
And sharing it with someone so special,
Reminds me off all the happiness life can bring.

Revising Reflections

I have finished revising my first draft of my This I Believe paper and feel I am on a very good track. One of the biggest revisions I made was making sure my paper did not become repetitive. I did this so the readers stay interested in my paper, because even though the whole thing is over one belief there is plenty for me to say about it. Something else I tried doing was making sure each paragraph opened with a great attention getter. I tried to use a quote, rhetorical question, or strong statement to grab the reader not only in the beginning of my paper but for each section. I feel these changes will make my paper more interesting for the reader.
My biggest issue so far is more with editing rather than revising, I am terrible with commas, but I am trying not to worry about that too much yet. I did not receive very much feedback for my paper, because I actually didn't get any suggestions, everyone told me it was already good. So I feel confident in the changes I made because they came from my mind and were what I wanted to see in my paper instead of others. Although more feedback from others would have been helpful. I am very hopeful that I will receive more advice during the next peer review.

Personal Essay Revising Goals

Goal #1: Make it so the reader can feel what I was feeling in the scene.

• I'll do this by adding more descriptions and laying out the scene more clearly.

Goal #2: Make sure it does not become repetitive.

• Although the paper is about one belief I want to make sure I don't repeat myself too much and bore the reader. I'll do this by using a variety of strategies instead of just stories or just quotes.
  

Goal #3: Make sure it can relate to everyone, not just me.

• I know this paper is about what I believe and why I believe it, but I want to use evidence from other people's lives so that it can relate to a wide variety of readers.
  

Personal Essay Reflection #1

I have finished writing my rough draft for my personal essay, however, my journey with it has only just begun. As a writer I know I can spout out rough drafts pretty quickly if I know what I want to say, but I also know there will be plenty of work to do after. I leave room for additions and am also open to cutting things out. In fact I really believe a piece of writing is never really finished. Just because you turn it in doesn't mean it's over.
I feel the hardest part of this assignment is focusing on one belief only. I have a wide variety of things I believe in and I find it hard to focus on only one of them, mostly because they are all linked together in some way or another. I found myself getting off track a few times while writing and I had to go back and fix it. However, I know it is good for me to practice writing on one particular topic and being able to share stories from my life makes it a lot easier. I think I'm on a very good path with my essay so far!