Friday, March 25, 2011

Vignette Preview

There's nothing better to wake up to, at least not in my mind. The fresh smell brewing in the kitchen. I hear the snap and crackle of the machine, quiet but the sounds stands out to my ears. Some say it tastes bitter but nothing else tastes quite as good in the morning. I rise out of bed and walk to the kitchen, grabbing my own personal mug. I lift the pot and watch the black river steam and run downwards. After replacing the pot on the burner I lift the mug to my lips and take my first sip. The perfect start to another day.

I would like Press responses.

7 comments:

  1. I rise out of bed and walk to the kitchen, grabbing my own personal mug...

    Maybe describe what the personal mug has on it. Everything is very good!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "There's nothing better to wake up to, at least not in my mind. The fresh smell brewing in the kitchen."
    The only thing i could find wrong is that i think this sentence should be written like this.

    There's nothing better to wake up to, at least not in my mind, then the fresh smell brewing of coffee in the kitchen.

    ReplyDelete
  3. After replacing the pot on the burner I lift the mug to my lips and take my first sip. The perfect start to another day.

    Maybe describe the taste some! Get the senses involved to make it stand out more to other readers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "I rise out of bed and walk to the kitchen, grabbing my own personal mug."

    Yea, so the fact that you have your own personal mug makes me crazy jealous. I kinda want my own mug now.

    "There's nothing better to wake up to, at least not in my mind."

    Should "not" be there?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Some say it tastes bitter but nothing else tastes quite as good in the morning.
    Describe more of what this taste is like and go more into detail. But otherwise it was good snapshot.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is very good. I don't see much to change. Possibly just add a coma after 'quiet' but that's more of a style thing.

    'I hear the snap and crackle of the machine, quiet, but the sounds stands out to my ears.'

    ReplyDelete
  7. Some say it tastes bitter but nothing else tastes quite as good in the morning.

    Maybe explain why it tastes so good in the morning! Other than that, great job!

    ReplyDelete